School delayed 2 hours last Tuesday. I quickly reviewed my schedule in my head, and thought that we should be okay. Kaylee and Whitney catch a ride with a friend, so I usually take Cassidy. On a normal day, K & W get picked up about 7:15 and C and I leave about 7:30. This still gets her to school WAY early. (Like, so early she is usually the first student there and a teacher's aid has to play UNO with her for awhile until other kids start to arrive!)
Let me back up - she could catch a bus at the only bus stop in town, which is about 2 blocks away from our house. She could walk over, or I could drop her off there WAY early. But, it's about 16 degrees out most mornings, without the wind chill factor, so I have a really hard time sending my 9-year old out in that. Yes, I spoil her. And yes, I realize that many kids do this and I walked further than that in the winter as a kid. (No, not 10 miles up hill both ways.)
Anyway...
I called home on Tuesday to remind K & W that their ride would be there about 9:15. Whitney said that Cassidy was asking how she would get to shool, and I said "I'm taking her." End of conversation. We've done this many times before, so I figured she knew the drill. I had a quick meeting from 9-9:15, so figured the timing would be perfect for me to get home about 9:30...two hours later than we usually leave. Well, my meeting ran over and I didn't get out of it until 9:30. I knew Cassidy would be waiting for me so I grab my purse and look at my work phone - only to see my voice mail light blinking. Do I check it now or wait until I get back? I check it quickly and find two messages from Cassidy. The first one was pretty normal: "Hey mom, it's Cassidy. I'm just wondering when you are going to pick me up. Maybe you are on your way now. Thanks, bye." or something like that. The second one was much more panicky. "Mom, it's Cassidy, and you're not here yet." Soft crying. "I'm not sure how I'm getting to school." More crying. "Please come and get me."
I run out of work dialing my cell to tell her I'm on my way and reassuring her that it's okay. When I get home her face is red and her eyes are swollen from crying. I feel like the worst mother in the world. Only one week in to the new year, and my nomination for "Mother of the Year" is in the toilet. Of course, we have several discussions about what to do in the future if she can't reach me, telling her I'd never forget her, and reminding her that she is still getting there way early, etc.
Later in the day I check my cell phone and see she had also left two messages there. Again, the first one is kind of relaxed, but by the second one you can't even understand her, she is sobbing so hard and out of control. She ends the call with "pleeeaaase, pleeeeaaase, pleeeeeaaaase, call me back!" Horrible. Absolutely horrible.
To top it off, on Thursday of last week, I'm in the middle of hosting a web conference at work, and another line in my department starts to ring. A co-worker answers it and takes the message that Whitney has gotten sick at school. It happened right at the end of the day, and they didn't want to put her on the bus and risk her getting sick on there, so she is in the office and they need someone to come and get her. Perfect. I wrap up as quick as I can and run to school to pick her up. She must have had a touch of the flu or something.
These things were somewhat easier when Jeff worked in town because between the two of us, one of us could usually slip away from work. Now it is all on me. Being a working mom is the hardest thing in the world. I know that being a stay at home mom is no walk in the park, but being torn between work and home stinks. Those are the days you feel like you are not doing your kids justice. I tell my girls all the time that if at all possible, they should try to stay home when they have a family. Or at least have a flexible job, or be their own boss, or work from home...I'm not sure what the answer is.
I realize that I'm fortunate to have a job, but it's just really stinky that society has become so money-centric that I have to work just to provide some nice things for my family - like food. Of course, it's somewhat easier now that they are older. Plucking a sleeping infant out of their crib to put them in a cold car seat and drag them to a sitter was gut-wrenching most days.
Okay, enough boo-hooing. Sorry - but I feel better now.
On a completely different topic: remember the jigsaw puzzle we were working on after Christmas? We finished it this past weekend:
This puzzle kicked our behinds! I'm not kidding. There were several times we had to stop and take a whole section apart to re-do it because the same pieces would fit in multiple locations. I was getting tired of seeing it half-done in the middle of the living room, so threatened to take it apart. Jeff decided it was time to just get it done, so we spent almost all Saturday afternoon bent over the card table and finally knocked it out. NOW, I get to take it apart!
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